Whispering Landscape

 

At the age of six years old my health was in trouble. Being the youngest of six children our parents supplied us with a clean home, big meals on a meager budget and much love. But when raising a large family back when buying a packet of biscuits wasn't possible, our mother spent most of her time in the kitchen baking for her family. We always had fruit trees or veggie patch to help supplement the food bills and we had some form of meat every night as our father was a butcher.

But this was where my health issues started. Our family moved into a house which joined onto an old butcher shop where my father worked. When I was six I got a bad case of the measles, and bronchitis together which turned to Asthma.  I battled asthma, bad chest infections and pneumonia until we noticed that it wasn't as severe after 14 years old. I still needed a puffer and even now it has left me with a weak respiratory system. But still we plodded along with the normal meat and veg, home-made cakes, pies, biscuits or anything that bulked up our daily meals.

In all that time I've struggled with Urinary tract infections, Kidney infections, Canker sores and bad bouts of  Cold sores, ones that would even manifest on the face.

In 2001,  I was a busy working mother raising our three wonderful children, a teacher at our church, I played a variety of sports and I stilllloved to garden. I was exhausted and all the above systems were fully visible on my body. I gobbled down antibotics, health supplements and was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I read all I could on the subject and became enpowered to change my life. Well at least for about 8 months and then I fell back into the same lifestyle - a stressed out, overworked, shattered soul - one of the majority.

My husband became a leader in our church and so I was that devoted wife and a listening friend to my wider church family.
But how much can the body and soul take?

And then everything got worse! One of my three sisters was diagnosed with Liver cancer. All the signs for cancer were in plain site but how did we miss it? So for the last six months of her life I became a supportive, caring sister. I gave up my quilting business to take care of her. She only wanted me to do all the necessary health procedures for her. Holding all my emotions inside, being strong for her children, our siblings and parents. My health decided to kick up its heels again and I formed Polyps on my voice box and struggled to talk, which my family joked was really a relief. The time came when our beloved sister was taken home to be with her maker. This left a lot of unanswered questions, regret, anger and bitterness. I would cry for no apparent reason, snap at the children (not me at all), and didn't want to deal with anything. It was suggested I talk to a councillor and so I met with a wonderful lady who told me I need to let go of the reins and let other family members take some control and that I needed to find some form of relaxation. She taught me breathing techniques, ways to deal with the stress and made me feel that I could be a little selfish sometimes. After 8 weeks of seeing her (the only time I needed), I was armed with ways to begin to heal.

The many healthy principles I had learnt previously when dealing with our sister that I had learnt at Living Valley Springs Health Retreat I was still living. No Aluminum in my deodorant, drinking lots of water, chemical free shampoo and conditioner, certain vitamin and mineral supplements regularly, healthy toothpaste, and I have always had a veggie garden and fruit trees planted at our homes. I was never a sweet tooth but cheese and chips were a favourite. 

In 2011, I started to feel exhausted again, just didn't sleep properly, bowel problems, and I felt like I had the flu all the time. I was constantly at the doctors office complaining about how fatigued I felt. It was hard to even get out of bed because my muscles and joints ached continually. I was informed that I must have a viral infection and just needed to rest. But how could that be when all wanted was to sleep most of the time.

Then my life was thrown another loop again. Our mother had to have Open heart surgery and at the age of 80 years she might not survive the operation. She wanted me to be the one to accompany her to the hospital and be there through her ordeal. Our father at 85 just couldn't make the trip (we live in the country, 2 hours from city), so I took our mother down and delivered her to the specialists and heart surgeon. With a touch across my cheek just before being wheel away for the operation, she informed me how much she loved me and that I was beautiful. Left alone in the city for the day, I kept thinking could those be her last words to me?

I never slept much that night. However, morning came and I was relieved as she must have made it through the night. A visit to her cubicle in intensive care, she looked like death was at her door and I definitely wasn't prepared for the news I would receive from the doctors. Just after releasing the clamp on the heart she had a stroke. With scans done on her brain, she had lost all movement down her entire left side. It was now my job to tell our father, siblings and her siblings the news. My stress levels were at an all time high. The goods news after weeks of rehabilitation she gained all feeling in her body and only has minor trouble with her hand and shoulder -  a stubborn woman is our mother. Stress has been a major factor in my life.

By the end of 2012 I was still feeling no better. I needed an emergency hysterectomy, due to infected uterus and so surely with 6 weeks of rest my health had to improve. But the more I couldn't move around the worse I became. Sleepless nights made me more exhausted than ever.

When a visit to a local surgeon who deals with bowel issues finally sends to me a Rheumatologist, this was when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Now I had a name for all my symptoms. I read a​ll the articles and books I could find on the subject and was determined this time to make some major changes in my life. It's funny when you truely have that change of heart, how all kinds of opposition rear there ugly heads. With how miserable I was feeling daily and with the drastic changes I put in place, with some not liking the healthy transformation  - it's been an amazing journey of renewal, inner growth and determination to continue forward on the path towards contentment and fulfillment.

 

Follow my journey on my blog to see what changes that have led me to this point... the mistakes I still make and my frequent, joyous steps forward.